One of those days…

Everyone has them - those horrible, terrible, no good, very bad days.

I sat down with Tommy for his reading lesson. We are working our way through Engelmann's Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons.

Tommy loves books, and wants badly to access all their secrets. He will sit for hours paging through books he can't really read, looking at diagrams and pictures trying to understand what's written there. Some days, he loves his reading lessons, and wants to do two or even three at a sitting. Other days (like yesterday) he does everything he can think of to sabotage the process and make it miserable for both of us.

His sister finished the whole book quite easily two years ago, when she was 6. At the same time, Tommy finished about 2/3 of the lessons although he was only 4. (When his sister completed, he lost interest!) Now that he is 6, we started through the book again, and we've reached lesson 77 without too many problems. Until yesterday.

He dragged his feet getting started; his attention was constantly wandering, wanting to know why things had to be done in the order given in the lesson, making mistakes on words he knows very well, losing his place, and then complaining when I tried to help him by pointing to the spot on the page. His mood darkened. My mood darkened. Things went from bad to worse.

It was turning into a battle of wills, and I suddenly realized there would be no winner in this struggle. I closed the book, and announced that the lesson was over.

Tommy begged me to continue, but I was firm, explaining that it just wasn't any fun for me. He burst into tears and ran to his room. My sense is that he was really disappointed in himself. I remember very similar situations in my own childhood - so at least I know where his occasional cantankerousness comes from!

After some time alone in his room, he came out and gave me a huge hug, and we traded heart-felt "I love you"s. Then we went outside and played together for a while.

Should I be court-martialed for Failure to Maintain Classroom Discipline? Should I have been more easy-going and bailed out at the first sign of trouble?

In the end, I think what matters is that I love my son deeply, and he loves me. We're in this growing-up thing together. Parenting and home schooling are endurance sports, not sprints. It's important to keep our eyes on the prize: super successful kids!

If he doesn't learn to read this year, he'll learn next year, or the year after. When the gnawing desire to have all that forbidden knowledge between the covers of the books on the shelves becomes so strong that he cannot stand it a minute longer, he'll become an excellent reader very quickly! My job is to make sure he sees those books, and knows that there are wonderful secrets and voyages of adventure and discovery waiting for him inside. The rest will be easy.

Charles

ps - Today we sat down and finished lesson 77 with no trouble at all!